Sunday, August 26, 2012

Serious(ly) Long Post

I don't think I'm better than anyone. I don't think there's a "real" reason anyone should read my blog. All I know is that I'm a real girl, a real dork, and real honest. I've been there done that. I've counted points on Weight Watchers, I've spent 4 hours a day doing cardio while taking diet pills and only consuming the few calories from an Americano, and then enjoying a Diet Coke for dessert. I've busted my ass working with a trainer and I've taken down a frozen pizza on my own. I've been a size 18 and I've been a size 8. So when I look at someone who thinks it's hopeless and say "I know, I've been there", it's with more empathy and love than anyone could imagine. There's no feeling like being the "fat girl", and the only feeling worse than being the "fat girl" is listening to your size 2 friends talk about how fat they are. Seriously...shut up. There isn't really an "accurate" way to describe the fear of trying on bridesmaids dresses for your friends wedding, or going to the mall with friends to not try anything on, or to be told what a "pretty face" you have. Nature, nurture, whatever, it sucks. You can blame the bad eating habits of your family for awhile, but at a certain age, it's up to you. So at 22 I started WW and a great exercise routine, working in a gym it wasn't hard to maintan a good schedule. That summer I hit a plateau, and got my heart broken for the first time. Hence my decision to marry the treadmill and down the diet pills. I looked awesome. Everyone told me to "keep it up." No one seemed to notice that losing 35 pounds in 6 weeks isn't normal, or healthy for a 23 year old girl. Little did anyone know I couldn't shit more than once every 2 weeks and I was angry ALL the time...not to mention SO hopped up on caffeine that I only slept about 3 hours a night (insert Jessie Spano's Saved By The Bell caffeine pill escapade here). So, because of the compliments, I kept it up. After all nothing impresses your d-bag ex like looking hot. Then one day, I ate a burger and literally gained 7 pounds by the next morning. I freaked out and hit the treadmill for hours. I knew I was on the verge of a dangerous addiction. Lucky for me, I have always had girls younger than me (including sisters) that looked up to me. I managed to stop and say "what would you say to them right now?" Life kept going and I gained weight back. I yo-yoed, fell for a boy, had my heart broken again. This was when I fell in love with distance running and that helped keep things under control...for awhile. If I stopped running for more than a week, I was screwed. I was having a great time, worked 2 jobs, went out A LOT, and lived with 2 of my sorority sisters (including my best girlfriend), but I stopped taking care of myself. One day I finally got sick of it and decided to train at a private facility. $450 or so a month. Yup. I know. And I had a gym membership on top of it. Go ahead and shake your head but while I hate thinking of the money I spent I can't regret the time I spent there. I looked good. I met good friends, I laughed a lot, I dated a trainer. He's a f*cker. For real. This brings us from age 22 to last fall, age 27, when life changed. I took what was supposed to be an amazing job...yeah. Moving on. I got fired. Oopsie! ;) But during the 4 months I spent at this job I was lucky enough to be introduced to CrossFit, and the Paleo lifestyle. CrossFit was hard as hell, Paleo seemed harder. But even after I was told to go find better opportunities (ask me to tell that story, I dare you) the idea of it all stuck with me. It doesn't help that I "re-met" my best fella friend through that job and he's a 3 steak a day eating, double WODing son of a bitch. (Love you J!) I ignored everything though because I was broke and jobless...and kept getting threatened with eviction. Yup, life one, CasC zero. In February I was offered an amazing job at SweetPea Cakes and am "back on my feet" so to speak. I am also back into a double digit pants size. Want to hear my excuses as to why? Nah, I didn't think so. Bottom line...I didn't move enough and I ate too much of the wrong thing. Yup, that's called OWNING IT pals. My choices, my consequences. BOOM. Lately though, I couldn't help but be happy. I just...decided to be happy. And I knew that if I wanted to be even happier, I needed to CrossFit and eat Paleo. Because it wasn't a diet, it was a lifestyle. Because the girls weren't praised (just) for being hot, but for being strong. I LOVE being strong. So, I made my decision. I've been toying with it all, but now it's balls out. Tomorrow, Monday, August 27th, 2012 I go strict Paleo. I'm amped. And then Monday, September 9th, 2012 I start "full time" at CrossFit Barrington. I'm scared, and excited, and have NO will power...so I'll need people to give me the tough love. Make me workout till I puke and help hold me accountable. I KNOW I can do this. And if I can, ANYONE can. Also, I'm gonna TRY not to complain...but if you've ever met me, you know I'm gonna whine like the brat I am.
Sorry this post is so long, but it had to be put out there. Ladies (and fellas)...you're better and stronger than the doubt inside you. I promise. And if you can put up with me, I promise I will be there for you. Take the biggest step and make a decision to take control of your life, your body, and your spirit!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Saturday Night At My Parents

I'm broke. Not "I'm broke but have $10,000 in a savings account" broke. More like broke as f*ck broke. And that's fine. That's life right now and all I can do is deal with it. Want to know what I do when I'm broke? I hangout at my parents. And sometimes when I hangout at my parents I get to see things I don't necessarily want to...like my Dad, cleaning with his shirt off, plumbers crack and all. Love you Dad, but seriously...gross. Moving on. Since I'm hanging out at my parents at 9:45 on a Saturday night I figured it was as good a time as any to start my blog. So, here it is. Nice Snatch, Sweets! Let's start with the title. It's not porn pervs, so if that's what you're looking for, I'm not your girl. I named it this because A) it's funny, B) I'm obsessed with CrossFit, C) I sell cupcakes. BAM. Awesome blog name. Also, can we sidestep for a second? I don't eat grains, sugar, or dairy and I sell CUPCAKES. Bastardly. Anyways, I started this blog for a few reasons. The first is, I have a slight love affair with blogs and have always wanted my own. So basically, this is selfish as hell. Secondly, I'm making the leap to CrossFit and Paleo. Like I said, I am OBSESSED with CrossFit. Seriously. I'm a CrossFit junkie, stalker, and lover. I'm also very aware that Paleo is CrossFit's BFF, so I'm doing both. At one time. Terrifying? Yes. Exciting? Absolutely. Will I pee 76 times before I walk into the box in a few days...probably. Or I'll pee my pants, I wish I was kidding. No shame. I probably should've forewarned you that I get sidetracked pretty easily...sorry. Anyways I'm going to post later about what brought me to this point in my CF journey but for now, here's a list of things my blog will cover, as well as reasons you should read it!
A) I, on occasion, have the ability to be hysterical. I mean, I laugh at myself all the time. So why not read my blog and see if you can laugh with me (or at me) as well?!
B) I'm terrified to be a full fledged CrossFitter. I also have some insanely huge CrossFit goals...I don't play around. So I may need you to cheer me on, or laugh at me when I fall on my ass doing box jumps.
C) I'm the worlds WORST cook, and I hate vegetables, also coconut. So why not make yourself feel like a world-renowned chef while I burn my house down attempting to make scrambled eggs.
D) I will never use words like "sitch" or "totes"...that's for sure a reason to become a loyal follower!
E)There are a zillion more reasons I'm writing this blog and a bunch more reasons to read it, but I'm tired, my baby sister is home, and Teen Mom is on. I don't have cable at home so this is awesome and I need to take it all in.
PS...I LOVE ABC lists. Get used to it.
Yay 1st Post!!!